Red and pink nothings, and something more

You know, for a while, Valentine’s Day was my favorite holiday. I was single during this time, and I think I liked the fantasy inherent in the holiday. I loved the hearts, pink sweaters, flowers, and overall effervescence of the day.

One year, the idea of romance soured for me and the holiday lost its charm. That’s a long story, and I don’t want to get into the details, but I mention that because I know that is true for a LOT of people. I feel ya.

Then I met my husband Scott and the idea of romance became not just a fantasy but something real, in the flesh. Now it is a comfortable romance. A groove we have settled in…so Valentine’s Day isn’t a fantasy anymore because I don’t feel the need for fantasy anymore. The holiday doesn’t affect me emotionally anymore, really (except for the fact that it makes work — at a flower shop — a nonstop crazy train).

I know a lot of people feel bad on this holiday, which is targeted mostly at couples but shoots painful darts at people who just feel fucking lonely. I think…you should know some things if you are single and the displays of flowers in the grocery store and ubiquitous ads for sweets and roses and restaurants cast a shadow on your heart:

❤️You should know that you are valuable. That you are loved…I don’t always feel my faith or know it for sure, and sometimes it feels like I have more questions than answers, but over the years my heart has had reason to believe that your Creator loves you so much that He gave his life for you. You are valuable. You are loved.❤️

Your breath, your sight, your thoughts, your body – they all occupy amazing space in this universe, uniquely carved out of this crazy life for you. You should know that that is enough. That you do not need someone to have sex with or take selfies with to be somebody special. You are enough. Just you.

You should know that your longing for closeness is okay. You should know that we all feel that.

And you should know that loneliness is real for a LOT of people. I have experienced it. So cry if you need to. It’s okay. But feel empathy and solidarity for the billions of people who have this feeling of loneliness.

Know that loneliness is not a permanent thing.

Know that love in friendship and family is love too.

And know, if it helps, that romantic love is a real thing and a possibility. Don’t give up hope. It can be real, and good. Deeper than Instagram…not without its share of pain and work…real. Deeper than romcoms, deeper than Tinder or Bumble or whatever. You don’t have to look like a Kardashian or Jennifer Lawrence or some plastic fantasy to find true friendship and tenderness. It’s out there.

❤️Most of all, know you are valuable and you are loved.❤️

Maybe we all need to know that.

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